Kosher email

A new company, called Kosher Email. is about to release new software to make sure your emails are kosher. How does it work? When you download the software it will "read" and "filter" your outgoing email. The software will:

• Add Yiddishized names (depending on which software you order. Available in Sephardic, Ashkenazic and Hassidishe pronunciations)
• Convert dates to the Jewish calendar.
• Add Bli Neder, Bli Ein Hora and IY"H.
• Remove any possible Loshon Hara, Rechilus and Motzei Shem Raa.
• Insert typical frumie grammar errors.
• Certified kosher, L'Mehadrin Min Ha'Mehadrin.

Here's an example:

Before:

Dear Dad,

We're landing at JFK at 4 PM on Monday. Please bring the minivan because Grandma's wheelchair is making the trip. I love Grandma, but, boy, does she complain. We are really looking forward to Sarah's wedding on Saturday night. She and Jake make such a lovely couple.

Love from the kids,
Debbie


After:

Tatti, Ad Mayah v'Esrim,

Bli Neder, we'll be landing, IY"H, at JFK on Yom Sheni L'Shabbos Bein Hashmashos, with God's help. Please bring the minivan because Bubbe's (she should live and be well) wheelchair is making the trip. I love Bubbe. [but, boy, does she complain].(taken out as loshon hara!; See Shmiras Halashon 2:4)

We are really looking forward to Sarala's Chasana on Motzaei Shabbos. Her and Yankele make such a lovely couple, they should build a Bayis Neh-ehman B'Yisroel.

Love from the Gantza Mishpucha, Bli Ayin Hora, tu-tu-tu,

Devorah Sprintze