Just before Rosh Hashanah, a team of terrorists invades the shul and takes the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage. Hours later, the governor stands tough, he won't give them a million dollars, a getaway car or a jumbo jet. The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that things look bad and they're going to have to shoot them... Nevertheless, to show that they're not really a bad bunch, they'll grant each hostage one wish.
"Please," says the rabbi, "for the last two months I've been working on my Rosh Hashanah sermon. What a waste to die now without having carried it before an audience. I'll go happily if you let me recite my sermon. It's a one hour and fifty five minute long tape, tops." The terrorists promise to grant the wish.
"Please," says the cantor, "after 50 years I've finally gotten the Hinneni prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an audience. It's only about 45 minutes long, then I'll go happily."
The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish, too, and they turn to the shul president.
"Please," says the president with tears in his eyes. "Shoot me first!"
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