Mate Match

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Chicago folks did hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago .

The DJ's play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJ's call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for Verification.

If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I have heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you heard of Mate Match?"

Contestant:(laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know were giving away a trip to Orlando , Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please.

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean that you're married or you're what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara"

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She's gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work"

Brian:(laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! "

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well.."

DJ: "Question ..2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, a trip would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

Brian: Laughing Hard " I ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh Huh..."

Brian:"...and the Mother In Law was in the shower at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I have done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."

Three Minutes of Commercials Follow

DJ:"OK audience, let's call Sarah, shall we? "

(touch tones...ringing..)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sara, this is Edgar from WBAM, we are live on the air and I have Been speaking with Brian for a couple hours now."

Sara:(laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooo do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

Sara: "No"

DJ: "Good"

Brian:(laughing)

Sara:(laughing)"Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian:(laughing) "Just answer the questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then both of you are off to Orlando , Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World, Sea World, Tickets to the Magics game. The whole deal. Get it Sara?"

Sara:(laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright, when did you last have sex, Sara?"

Sara: "Oh God, Brian...uh, this morning before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sara: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sara:"12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's good enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one last question away from a trip to Florida . Are you ready?"

Sara:(laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"

Sara: "Well..."

DJ: "Come on Sara.....where did you have it?"

Sara: "In the ass...."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break.